Enough
by MoonlightGardenias
Summary: How long do you want to be loved? Is forever enough? BB post-ep for The Boy With the Answer. Spoilers for that & the finale.


**Author's Note: I'll just start by saying that Brennan nearly killed me in that last scene this week. Emily is ridiculously talented and that came through. Now, this has kind of been eating at my little fangirl brain ever since. I know it's just one more fic on the heap after the episode, but if you read please let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. It's a sad story, really.**

**_By The Way: _This is titled as "Lullaby" over at LJ because that was the intended title. When I uploaded this to FFN I already had a story up by the same name apparently so it forced me to find an alternative. "Enough" is kind of a theme thoughout so I apologize if anyone ended up confused or thought there was some shady stuff going on. :-P**

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_The hallway is filled with smoke. With every step her heart starts pounding faster, harder as she pushes forward to her ultimate goal._

_"Bones!"_

_Brennan stops, breathing rapidly as she tries to gain a sense of direction. "Booth! Where are you? I can't..."_

_"Bones?" Booth's voice echoes loudly as he starts pounding his fists against the wall. "Help! I'm over-"_

_"Booth?" Brennan rounds the corner and discovers a door. She coughs as her hands forcibly pull on the knob. "I'm right here! I'll get you out, Booth. Just hang on."_

_There's a sound behind the door. A subtle thud. Fear clutches at her and she starts pounding on the door. "Booth? Answer me, Booth!...No. No, please..."_

_She turns to find that the smoke thicker than before. Breathing is nearly impossible and sight is a difficult task. She sinks to the ground in hopes of finding a path. Bits of gravel and glass and whatever else on the floor pierce her palms and knees, and suddenly the ground is warm against her cheek. _

No.

_The thought rings loudly in her mind but Brennan can't force herself to move. She came to save him, but i__n the end as she sees flames licking at the wood frames of the room across the hall she knows she has failed._

"No!" Brennan jolts awake in bed, face and neck covered in sweat. Taking a moment to register her surroundings allows her to realize it was only a dream, though a different one from before. They're all safe. Taffet is in prison. Shouldn't that count for something?

She tosses the blankets aside and pads down the hall for a glass of water. Her apartment is quiet and dark save for the light she intentionally left on in the kitchen, and though it's childish Brennan can't help but wish Booth had pushed more and offered to stay with her or take her home from Founding Fathers at the least.

He's safe. She knows that. It doesn't stop her from recalling what happened in the nightmare. Before, she'd dreamed of him drowning in the way Taffet had originally planned, but this was different. Of course she'd had countless dreams and nightmares before, though she'd never own up to all of them even if Booth asked her to.

Without really registering what she's doing Brennan grabs her phone, positioning herself on the edge of her bed in hopes of hearing his voice. She tries rationalizing why she'd be calling so late but there isn't anything other than the fact she simply needs to know for sure.

"Bones?" Booth answers groggily. Brennan feels guilty at the reality she's apparently woken him up. "What's wrong?"

A small laugh escapes her lips, because isn't it perfectly normal for them to speak to one another at--she glances at the glowing numbers of her clock--12:37 in the morning? "Nothing, I'm fine. I'm sorry for calling so late, I'll see you-"

"You had another one, didn't you?" Booth asks. On the other end of the line Brennan can hear rustling and she knows he's making himself comfortable, presumably preparing for a conversation, another thing that makes her feel bad for seeking him out for comfort. "What happened this time?"

"It doesn't matter. You were sleeping, so I'll let you go." Brennan refuses, her hand gripping the phone tight. She watches the moonlight as it spills in through the window, settling against all of her belongings. Even though he's on the other end of the line she can't shake the feeling of being alone.

"Bones, I swear to you right now if you don't talk to me, I'm driving over there." Booth replies. He doesn't want to tell her he was already thinking about doing so anyway.

Brennan pulls her legs back into bed, positioning the comforter around her and sighs. "There was a fire...in this house. You were locked in a room near the back and I needed to get to you. I needed to save you, but the door...the door was locked. There was smoke. I tried, but I couldn't...I couldn't..."

"It wasn't real, Bones. You know that, don't you? You wouldn't be talking to me right now if it were." Booth offers in an attempt to reassure her.

"What if it doesn't work next time, Booth? What if next time when one of us is in danger we won't be able to get there? What if-"

"It's not like you to dabble in the hypothetical, Bones. That won't happen, okay?" Booth counters her argument, again trying to assauge any fears but he already knows the second the words leave his mouth they aren't enough.

"You don't know that! You can't guarantee that we'll never be in a life threatening situation ever again. The work we do...the people we try to find answers for, there will always be more. Another murder. Another _murderer. _It's an inevitability." Brennan tells him matter of factly, hating herself for revealing so much. Her cheeks are wet with tears but she pleads with herself to not cry. He'd know and he'd come over and as good as the idea sounds she couldn't put that on him regardless of how much she might want to. The realization scares her a little, because isn't she a capable and independent woman? She's not supposed to need anybody and she doesn't. Except Booth; he's always managed to be the exception.

Booth sighs, knowing somehow that it was coming. He'd asked her to not make any major decisions but the way she's talking makes him afraid that she's headed in that direction. "Give me fifteen minutes."

"What?" She shakes her head despite the fact he is unable to see her. "Booth, you don't have to come over. I'll be fine."

"We're partners, Bones." Booth argues, as if that simple statement explains everything. "I'll be there in a minute, okay?"

Even if she wanted to argue against him there's no way for her to win since he's apparently already made up his mind. Brennan plucks out a stray thread from the comforter and rests her chin against her knees. "Okay."

By the time he arrives she's made coffee and is sitting on the sofa with the dull glow of a nearby lamp illuminating the living room. When he knocks she lets him in and stands by as he moves into the kitchen to get his own cup, all without saying anything. She watches him as he moves easily from the cabinet in which her mugs are kept to pouring the steaming liquid into his own cup as if he's been there so many times he has the entire place memorized, which of course he probably does.

"Talk to me, Bones. What's going on here?" Booth asks once they're settled back in the living room. They're sitting close but not touching. It's a fact Booth is fully aware of because he's fairly certain Brennan is doing so on purpose, though he can't completely know for sure.

Brennan wraps her hands tight around her coffee mug, letting the warmth spread into them. Words are buried inside of her, begging to be let out, except she's not sure which ones to choose. The simple fear that he knows just how vulnerable and raw she feels scares her more than originally anticipated. "I'm not sure where to start."

He fights the urge to reach out and touch her, to reassure and remind her that she's not alone in any of this...whatever it is that she's going through. "It doesn't matter. Just start talking."

"Are you sure you want to do this now? I mean, it's late and-" Brennan bites her lip upon realizing something she's surprised for not thinking of before. "Catherine's probably not happy that you're here right now."

"We're not-" Booth pinches the bridge of his nose and prays for patience. How can he tell her everything he wants and needs to, that he's exactly where he wants to be and that nobody could keep him away, if she keeps her wall up so high? "I'm not seeing her anymore. None of that matters though, so just...talk."

She shoots him a look of surprise and wants to know more, but she also knows if she puts off telling him what's been bothering her even more she'll end up regretting it."I feel like no matter how much effort I put in for all of our victims, it will never be enough. I know it's an inevitablity that there will always be violence in the world, but I've never realized before how terrible it is to come into contact with such evil every day until during Taffet's trial." Brennan replies, her eyes focused on her coffee rather than him. In his eyes she'd see compassion and concern and something she knows is love, and she's not quite ready to face that. "What if everything we're doing doesn't make a difference?"

Booth sits back, momentarily startled by her revelation. He'd known something was off with her throughout the trial; no one could be able to compartmentalize so well even if they swore they could. "It makes a difference for the victims, Bones. For their families. Every case we solve gives some family out there answers. That makes a difference."

"Yes, but-" A solitary tear traces down her cheek. She's kept this all bottled up for so long and it's starting to spill out slowly like water through cracks in a wall and she's powerless to stop it now. "How much good is it in the grand scheme of things? I know we make a difference for those families, but every day...every single day there are hundreds of people being beaten and killed across the country. How can I possibly hope to put a stop to it all?"

At that Booth reaches for her hand, lacing their fingers together. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be able to do what we do. You've gotta know how important you are." She's avoiding looking at him so he sets his cup down on the table, using his free hand to turn her face towards him. "You're important, Temperance. How could you not get that?"

The look in his eyes and the sound of his voice uttering her first name are Brennan's undoing. She starts shaking her head and crying for a reason that's undefined. "I never used to get this attached. Before, any set of remains I received was just that. They were numbers in a catalog as opposed to people who had families and histories. You...everyone's changed that now."

Booth starts rubbing small circles on the back of her hand, anchoring her somehow in the midst of the sudden storm of fear and doubt surrounding her. "Is that really such a bad thing, Bones? I've seen you grow in the past six years. Learn things you'd never be able to do before. Every case...it gets to us all. I know it gets to you the most, whether you choose to admit it or not. I've seen the way you comfort the families; the way you want nothing but the best for them. That's not a bad thing at all."

"I want to go to Indonesia." Brennan blurts out suddenly, the revelation easily spilling off of her lips. "There's an archeological dig there where they're recovering remains with startling new facts previously never seen. The things I'd take part in would be incredibly rewarding. I just-"

"How long?" Booth asks, almost afraid of the answer. He's holding her hand and she's not pulling away and the air around them is heavy with _something_--the same "something" that has gone unspoken since he dared to bare his heart to her--but it still seems like there's something else between them.

"A year." Brennan's voice cracks as she lowers her eyes to the ground, not wanting to see what his face looks like as she breaks the news.

Silence fills the room as he processes the new piece of information. He remembers the conversation they had months ago while on the plane in China, about how ancient remains would always be her first love and how it was actually her that forced him into working together. The look on her face just seconds before as she talked about the exciting new find was proof enough that she actually wanted to go. It's not enough though; Booth gets the feeling that there's a question laying unasked between them. Like she actually _wants_ him to ask her to stay, or at the least offer his approval and tell her it would be a good move. "That's a long time."

"I know." Brennan cries, much in the same way she did after he told her he had to move on and find someone else. It doesn't go unnoticed by him she's sure, but what else is she supposed to say?

He feels like he should say something about how much she'd be leaving behind or how the team would fall apart if she wasn't there, but at the same time the last thing he wants to do is make her feel bad for wanting to do something she truly loves. "A lot can happen in a year." Booth pauses, choosing his next words carefully because he knows how she'll react if he doesn't say them right. "I just need you to promise me that if you do this, you won't be doing it to run."

Brennan swallows hard and suddenly his hand feels like a heavy weight against hers. "I don't know what that means."

"Yes, you do." Booth replies, leaving no room for argument.

Her eyes are wide and blue. They've managed to avoid the topic of _us_ for weeks but she knows now that's exactly what he's referring to. He needs this, she knows; the comfort of knowing that she's in this...whatever it is, even if it's not on the same terms he is for the time being. She offers him a small smile. "I won't run."

It's all he needed to know. Letting go of her hand, he drapes his arm around her shoulders and pulls her back against the comfort of the couch. "Then don't think about that right now. You've been through enough these past few days, Bones. Don't make a decision right now, okay? Just relax."

Brennan leans her head against his shoulder, knowing that nothing about this moment falls under the category of "just partners". "You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

He gives her shoulders a squeeze and plants a kiss on her forehead before breathing in deep. "But I do want to."

Brennan breathes out slowly and lets herself relax against him, pulling her legs up onto the cushions and sliding an arm around his waist. They'll probably wake up in a few hours and have an awkward moment in which he either leaves or they bicker over who'll take the couch for the remainder of the night, but she finds that she doesn't care. For now, what they have is enough. "Okay."


End file.
